A Rant About Public Restrooms

You know the feeling.  You've quenched that thirst with a few too many glasses of wine water or tea or coffee.  Your full bladder pushes gently against the waistband of your jeans.  You need to go, and you need to go now.

You locate the nearest restroom and, upon entering the stall, discover the previous occupant left you a little gift - a few droplets scattered on the seat.  Ew.

You move to the next stall and there it is again, pee on the seat.  What's going on?  Did you accidentally walk into a kids-only restroom?  Why can't grown women manage to use a public restroom without leaving a little souvenir behind?

I think I know the core of the problem.  It's the age old dilemma women have faced since the first public outhouse was created - sit or squat?  Squatting keeps your delicate area away from potentially germ-infested grossness but seriously ups the chances of a little sprinkle on seat.  Sitting, on the other hand, would almost definitely prevent sprinkling but that means your skin has to touch a seat that, let's face it, has probably been peed on many times over.

The way I see it, we have a few options, ladies.  We need to bond together in this thing called womanhood and keep our public restrooms free from seat pee.  Whether you choose to sit or squat, please, I beg you in the name of all that is good, use those conveniently placed seat liners (or even a few sheets of toilet paper for heaven's sake!) no matter what.  It's the simplest solution.  That way, if you choose to squat and your aim is off, at least there's something protecting the seat and if you choose to sit, you'll have a little buffer for your bum.  See - simple!

And for those of you who can't be bothered with seat liners - if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.

Oh, and one more thing, make sure you flush the dang toilet.  I'm not talking about just pushing the handle and walking away.  Take a few extra seconds to make sure your deposit went down successfully and if it didn't, flush again.  Let's just agree here and now to show a little bathroom courtesy to our fellow women.  It's the least we can do for each other.





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  2. hahaha you and Heather are on the same page today with bathroom related rants! Sprinkle when you tickle = best line ever!

    When did public bathroom etiquette go out the window? Why can't people make sure everything is flushed before they leave the stall? That one really gets me.

    Thanks for the entertaining rant :)

    Funny toilet seat cover story for you. I was wrapping Christmas presents for my 90 year old grandmother one time, and she had a stash of "tissue paper" in her wrapping supplies. When I pulled it out to use, my sister and I about died when we realized they were actually toilet seat covers!

    Ok, longest comment ever, sorry!

  3. I don't understand! I mean, come on ladies! I see things left in toilet at work, and it's like, presumably, you are a nice, professional lady, who aced an interview and got hired somewhere. You must have some social etiquette, so PLEASE, apply the to the restrooms!!

    PS - you are Jenni's rant today - I can't relpy to your comments :(

  4. amen, sister! i actually wrote about leaving things in the toilet when you walk away in one of my friday's letters a few months ago. i do NOT understand - how do you see that things haven't gone down and think 'eh, good enough for me!'?? mo is right - work is the worst!

  5. Okay, I love this rant! Apparently it is too much to ask for a little wipe down from squatters.

  6. Oh dear. It never ceases to amaze me how disgusting public restrooms can become. Even in my office -- a place filled only with adults, most of them women -- I deal frequently with gross issues and think... really? Also, if you change the toilet paper at home (and I hope you do), why the heck can't you change it at work?! LAZY.


    Didn't even know I was storing that inside. Thanks for the vent!

  7. squatting? how about straight up getting on top of the toilet seat with your feet and go from there?? that's the worst, because then we're not talking just a few droplets, sister! gross gross gross.

  8. Dude. THIS. Seriously. I'm thinking I may print this out and post it in the stall anytime I see this reprehensible behavior. Cool?

  9. Haha This was one of my rants today too. I cannot take it. Cannot take it.

  10. Ha Stephanie, I followed you from Heather's page, fiery and opinionated. You are a good writer, I enjoyed this so much. Its about time someone make this plea. Thank you/

  11. honestly, I can't understand why women squat on the toilet, unless you're seriously jonesing for a leg workout. toilet seats are gross, there's no question, but if you think about it, what's coming into contact with the seat? skin. the skin on the back of your thighs. and what's skin's purpose in life? to act as a barrier against the outside world and prevent unwanted things from entering your body. nothing bad is going to happen to you if your skin comes into contact with some germs - it happens every day, on every inch of your body. so do us all a favor and just sit on the dang toilet seat and let the various parts of your body carry out their intended purposes.

    and...rant over. can you tell I've encountered my fair share of sprinkly toilet seats? sometimes it's so frustrating being a girl!

  12. Amen, sista!!! I solemnly swear that if I get so much as one droplet, I make sure to wipe it clean for the next lady - ALWAYS!!! I will never understand the nasty behaviors of some women. I am honestly repulsed at times! Let's hope that those culprits read this post ;) XO Brynn

  13. I personally feel that squatters should be lifting up the toilet seat. If they can't handle that, the butt needs to go on the seat. Also, like someone else said, your lady bits don't touch the seat at all. It's just skin touching the seat, and you're not going to get some dread disease from it.

    What irks me even more than pee is the blood on the seat/toilet issues, but that's probably a rant for another time.

    In short: if everyone would work to keep the bathrooms nice, bathroom visits would be much nicer.

  14. Great rant, Stephanie! Haha... I hate this as well... and I also hate when they DON'T have liners... I'm like, what century are we in now?

    Also, I worked as a custodian years ago at the most magical place on earth (it's where people take vacationnnnnns with an oversized mouse). Let me tell you: it wasn't magical. It kind of made me lose a little faith in humanity, haha. GROSS. Can't believe I did that.

  15. Hahah I know how you feel sista! I'm always so self conscious about the toilet seat after I leave the stall. Though, sometimes the toilet flush is so powerful that it splashes water up like a freaking geyser. I mean, what's with all the power?

  16. I TOTALLY agree with all of this! It is soo true! Wipe it up if you accidentally spray the seat! GR! ha! ( I am visiting you from Treasure Tromp! )


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