Self-Employment | Month 4
One big thing that happened for me in April is that I met my goal for wedding bookings in 2012!! I did not expect to meet that goal this early in the year. Actually, in all honesty, I wasn't even totally confident I'd meet it at all. I am so thankful that it happened so soon and I can now focus on increasing my bookings beyond that goal. Any opportunity to practice and gain more skills and knowledge is always a good thing!
Of course, this last month had its downsides, too. I've started to notice that I have a very specific, emotional process after every shoot that I'm hoping will get better as my confidence increases. Basically, I love every shoot as it's happening, I hate my work when I review it immediately after because, of course, all I can see are the technical flaws, but then when I come back and start the editing process, I fall in love with the work all over again. I need to learn how to skip that "hate it" part and be confident in the work so I can love it from beginning to end.
I also need to stop comparing myself to others. When starting something new, it's perfectly natural to do your homework and investigate how others have done it before you. There's so much to learn there, both from their successes and their mistakes. But when it reaches the point of comparison, when it starts to get negative, or when thoughts like "Oh man, I'll never be that good" start to pop up, it's time to step away and just focus on the work. My work is good enough. My work doesn't have to meet someone else's random standards. My work is my own and the more confident I am in that, the more likely I am to attract clients who also appreciate and value it. I don't need to defend my work or prove myself to anyone. I just need to be.
I've also noticed I get easily overwhelmed with the business end of things when I think of all I need to do. My "busy season" starts in just one month and when I think of all that must be done, it makes me want to crawl under the covers and sleep it all away. I need to focus, tackle, and conquer. Maybe that should be my new motto.
I have plans and dreams of how I want the business to grow but I also have to remind myself to be patient. I've only been in business for 6 months. Success doesn't happen overnight. Mine will come in stride. But patience isn't exactly my greatest virtue...