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One.Let's set the scene, shall we? I was on the bus* the other day when a passenger who appeared to be homeless (you never know in San Francisco - he could've just been an older hipster) gets on the bus with a giant plastic garbage bag filled with aluminum cans and ... his dog. The bus is pretty darn crowded but this guy still tells his dog to hop up on the seat next to him and get comfy. This wasn't exactly a lap dog, either. She was about the size of a small lab. Anyway, a younger woman gets on and shuffles by and apparently she stepped on this guy's shoe (remember, the bus is crowded) and immediately after I hear this conversation:
Dog Guy (shouting at his dog, Mamacita): You see that, Mamacita? That b**ch just stepped on my foot and didn't apologize. She better apologize! I bet if my foot was a twenty dolla bill she'd a stopped. She don't look like a b**ch that passes up a twenty dolla bill, do she Mamacita? Do she?
Dog Guy (in what I guess was Mamacita's voice): Oh no she didn't.
Two.Again, I'm on the bus. A lot of teenagers just got out of school and are riding the bus to get home, including these two sweet friends.
Girl 1: Can we stop at McDonald's on the way to your place?
Girl 2: What? No way, fat a**. You just ate a slice of pizza at lunch.
Girl 1: Yeah, ONE slice!!
Girl 2: Well I only ate half a slice so you ate twice as much as me. That means you're twice the fat a**. No McDonald's.
Three.Waiting for the bus once again. Two middle-aged, mostly normal looking guys are waiting near me discussing Dark Shadows (the new Johnny Depp movie).
Guy 1: So this vampire has been locked in a coffin and buried underground for 200 years. 200 YEARS!!! And yet, when he gets out, he has all this compassion and respect for his family. Can you believe that? 200 years in a coffin and he still knows how to feel compassion and show respect. Meanwhile you got kids today that don't even know what respect means. How can a guy trapped in a box for 200 years still understand respect when people not trapped still don't get it?
Guy 2: Sounds like he's old school.
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*Oddly enough, most of these amazing conversations occur on public transportation.